7 Things Your Therapist Wish They Could Tell You
Do you ever wonder “what does my therapist think of me?” That’s a very common and fair question! You see your therapist once a week, they know so much about you—yet they remain a mystery.
I am a queer, Asian American therapist practicing from a trauma-informed and somatic lens in New York City and have had conversations with fellow relationally oriented therapists about their experiences with clients. I’ll share with you what we wish we can share with you in your therapy sessions.
Sometimes we wish we could be friends too!
One of the best parts of being a therapist is meeting interesting folks who are filled with stories of humor, resiliency, and strength. There’s that natural human desire to further connect and be friends but of course, our profession ethically does not allow us to do so. Therefore we’ll settle with showing up and supporting you on your journey as just your therapist instead.
We think about you in between sessions.
It might be common for you to think about your therapist and talk about your sessions with friends. As a therapist, we don’t immediately forget about you after your session ends. We sometimes think about your struggles and brainstorm things to bring in the next session or think about the conversations we’ve had together that stuck.
However embarrassed or vulnerable you feel about disclosing personal things in sessions, chances are we’ve heard them before or have been through them ourselves.
This can be related to childhood trauma, complex PTSD, identity, sexuality, kink, or experiences rooted in shame and embarrassment. We understand the complexities and messiness in the human experience and feel honored when things are shared in sessions that you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing elsewhere.
We’re not tired of you! We’re genuinely interested and curious about your experiences, that’s why we became therapists.
Sometimes clients come in wanting to be a “good client” feeling the need to prove themselves in one way or another or having anxieties about boring their therapists. We invite you to come as you are and not be afraid to take up space, after all, it’s your therapy!
We are your empathetic witness— we feel your anxiety, fear, and pain as you share your stories.
Therapists, especially ones that practice from a relational, somatic (body-based) lens or use EMDR are present in your words, physical sensations, and emotional experiences. We are feeling your fears and anxieties and often have to stay grounded ourselves (this is something therapists have practiced repeatedly so you don’t have to feel like you have to take care of us in sessions!) to support you in your journey.
Sometimes we actually don’t know the “right” thing to say or ask.
Although therapists are considered “experts” in what we do, we are also human and sometimes unsure of where to direct the conversation as there are many directions to go and curiosities to explore.
Therapy is not just a transactional relationship—we do truly, care about you.
Due to living in capitalism, therapy can get quite expensive. In a liberated world, we would love to provide therapy for free! It’s our passion to witness your stories and support you in your growth because we care about you and the relationship we’ve built together.
