Examples You’re Using Intellectualization as a Defense Mechanism & How to Challenge It
Intellectualization is a defense mechanism to avoid or repressed unpleasant feelings that arise. Intellectualization can happen for various reasons; feelings can feel too big and uncomfortable, causing your psyche to feel that it can’t handle them. The emotions get unconsciously suppressed while your thoughts try to exert mental control over them.
As children, we may not be taught to engage with our emotions, especially if there are consequences. However, this muscle can be learned like any other skill we master in adulthood. In this article, you’ll learn the most common ways intellectualization is unconsciously used as a defense mechanism and how to challenge that and start feeling your feelings!
Common examples you’re using intellectualization as a defense mechanism
When emotional discomfort arises...
You tend to jump straight to problem-solving and fixing the issue at hand.
You may start to shame spiral and blame yourself or another person for the uncomfortable emotion.
You start to reflect on the root cause, the chain of events, the reasons you’re experiencing emotional discomfort.
You reach out to friends and loved ones and vent without connecting to your feelings and sensations.
You try to learn all you can about what upsets you, whether reading books, unpacking it cognitively with others, etc.
How to start feeling your emotions?
When you notice an uncomfortable feeling, pause and ask yourself what the emotion is.
Instead of turning to your head and trying to solve it, ask yourself, what am I noticing in my body? This allows you to slow down and take inventory of your physical symptoms, which helps make a mind-body connection to help you feel.
Redirect your attention towards your sensations and discomfort, sit with it, and let whatever comes up, but try not to engage with that active mind. (Sometimes, if you’re not used to slowing down and feeling, it might be hard to identify things outside of your thoughts, but the more you practice breaking this pattern, the more attuned you will feel toward your other processing channels.) Here are additional somatic therapy exercises to help reconnect with your body.
Your mind may want to steer you away from this moment of pause; give yourself an affirmation to allow your feelings to exist. An affirmation can look like “I’m safe to feel my feelings.” “It’s okay to have feelings,” “It’s okay to slow down and take time for myself,” or even “thank you emotions for trying to protect me.”
Practice resourcing or grounding; this can look like taking deep breaths, journaling, taking a walk, stretching, but whatever allows you to show up for your feelings as you move through them.
If the feelings are too big or intolerable, it’s also okay to intentionally take a break from them. The most important thing is to come back to it. However, try not to avoid the feeling or problem; this can lead to more anxiety.
The benefits of feeling your feelings
Intellectualization can help gain cognitive insight and a deeper understanding of your experiences; however, what tends to happen is that the feelings associated get subconsciously suppressed, and they can come out in other unhelpful ways (examples include but are not limited to being more reactive, short-tempered, increased heart rate, difficulty sleeping or concentrating).
When you can sit with your feelings, they can move and not have a strong hold over you. Yes, sometimes this can be difficult if the feelings are big and painful. However, slowly leaning to tolerate that discomfort can allow more capacity for existing with a full emotional range and growth.
If you need more support in your mental health, feel free to learn more about my approach to therapy and contact me for a free consultation today.
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